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Title: Sex Over 50 Guide
Author: james kirby
Article:
Sexual boredom is not an inevitable a part of growing older.
Many couples don't realize that their lovemaking routine may be
a source of the boredom. Some older adults may find that sexual
positions that they had used when they were younger are no
longer comfortable. This can be a good excuse to try new sexual
positions. The following guide looks at some positions for
sexual intercourse, including variations. For instance, you may
find that even the tried-and-true missionary position takes on
new excitement when you experiment with variations as simple as
altering the position of your legs or torso. As you and your
partner experiment, tell each other what feels good and what
doesn't. Be honest, be sincere, and be open. Above all, enjoy.
The Missionary Position (Man on Top) Probably the most popular
sexual posture in Western culture, the missionary position can
be extremely satisfying for both sexes. And it offers a
surprising array of opportunities for variety. One reason for
satisfaction is the intimacy this position offers. You are
facing each other, allowing for lingering kisses and full
contact along the length of your bodies. The woman can stroke
her partner's back and buttocks; he can lower his head to kiss
and suck her breasts. Usually in this position, the woman has
her legs wrapped around her partner's hips or bent, knees up, at
either side of them. She can spread her legs wide or keep her
thighs pressed together for added friction as she receives his
thrusts. Or her partner can try kneeling before her as she lays
suppine with her legs spread and knees up, a position that might
be eased by placing a pillow under her hips. This variation
allows him, or her, to touch her clitoris during lovemaking. The
missionary position doesn't allow for a lot of clitoral
stimulation, so it's not the best for female orgasm -- unless
you vary it a bit. The coital alignment technique, or CAT, puts
the male groin in closer contact with the clitoris. Instead of
propping himself up with his arms, the man lies with his body
resting atop his partner's and positions himself farther forward
than usual between her legs. That way, the base of his penis
presses against her clitoral area during penetration. In this
variation, instead of male thrusting, both partners move their
pelvises together with gentle, rocking motions. If it's deeper
penetration you want, the woman can try aligning her legs along
the man's torso while tucking her knees upward until they are
inside his armpits. For even deeper penetration, she can swing
her legs over his shoulders before he begins thrusting. This is
enjoyed most by women who are very limber -- and the man should
keep in mind that gentle thrusts work best. Woman on Top Also
known as the "female-astride," this is considered the easiest
way for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse alone.
Kneeling or lying on top of her suppine partner, she can control
the speed, rhythm and angle of penetration in a way that arouses
her most. She can move her pelvis against her partner's so that
her clitoris rubs against his pubic bone -- an effective way to
trigger an orgasm in some cases. Or, with her torso raised so
that she is sitting on her partner, she (or he) can touch her
clitoris by hand while he is inside her. This position can be a
revelation for couples who have only made love missionary-style.
Besides giving the woman an opportunity to control the physical
action and increase her chances of coital orgasm, it also offers
the man a chance to lay back and enjoy what his partner is
doing. For many older men who have spent their adulthood
believing it is the male's responsibility to take charge of his
partner's pleasure during sex, letting go of this notion can be
quite liberating and stimulating. He may be surprised to
discover just how exciting it is to let his partner take
control.
The X Position From the woman-on-top position, you can move
easily into this variation, in which both partners lean back and
face each other, pelvises interlocked. The X-position gets it
name from the fact that the couple's connected bodies resemble
that letter. Here's how: Once you are in the female-astride
position, with the woman facing her partner, she lies back with
his penis still inside her until each partner's head and torso
is between the other's open legs. Clasping each other's hands
for balance, move your hips together gently and slowly. Comfort
notes that this is an excellent position for leisurely
lovemaking because its "slow coordinated, wriggling movements"
are conducive to keeping the man erect and the woman "close to
orgasm" for prolonged periods. "Spooning" (Rear-Entry Sideways)
Of all the positions for sexual intercourse, this is the
gentlest. It not only requires less exertion but also is easiest
on the back, the hips and other joints. The woman lies on her
side with her back to her partner. He lies alongside her and
enters her vagina from behind. In this position, the woman's
back rests against her partner's chest as her buttocks press
against his pelvic area. He can kiss her back and neck, fondle
her breasts and belly as he thrusts. Also within easy reach are
her clitoris and mons (the sensitive mound of flesh over the
pubic bone). Getting into position may be tricky: If the man has
trouble inserting his penis from this angle, his partner can
bend forward at the waist to make it easier for him to
penetrate. Once penetration is accomplished, the spoon position
is smooth sailing. It allows both partners to make love without
either having to support the other's weight, so it is good for
those times when you both feel a bit tired -- but not too tired
to make love. It also is a particularly good position for those
who suffer from back pain or arthritis. If knee pain is a
problem, small pillows can be placed between the knees to
cushion those joints. Conducive as it is to relaxed lovemaking,
spooning also allows for more vigorous thrusting if that's your
mood. Sideways Face-to-Face In the sideways face-to-face
position , you and your partner lie facing each other, legs
intertwined. Think of this position as spooning in reverse. Some
couples may not feel comfortable having prolonged intercourse in
this position because it puts more stress on the back and hips
than does spooning. But if you feel like changing positions, you
can easily roll over into the missionary without having to pull
apart and reconnect. Or, you can start out in the missionary and
switch to the sideways position. It is not easy to manually
stimulate the clitoris while making love in this position, but
there are plenty of other advantages. Both partners have equal
freedom of movement and can match each other thrust for thrust.
You can move your torsos away from each other to achieve deeper
penetration, enjoy lingering kisses, and stroke each other's
back and buttocks. This face-to-face position has a friendly
aspect that many couples enjoy. Sitting Whether you do it on a
firm mattress or a comfy chair, this can be an exciting change
of pace from horizontal lovemaking. Choose a well-cushioned
chair that is secure enough to support your combined weight and
wide enough so that neither of you feels cramped. Then, one
partner sits in the chair and the other gets on top. This
position is much easier if the male is the seated partner. With
the man seated, she straddles his lap, either facing forward or
away from him. She can then move up and down or back and forth
with him inside her. Facing him, she can maneuver herself so
that her clitoral area rubs against his pubic bone, increasing
her chances of orgasm. If she faces away, he can still touch her
breasts and her behind. He also can reach around to play with
her clitoris. Either way, the non-seated partner does most of
the "work" because the seated one has little freedom of
movement. Someone with back trouble would be most comfortable as
the sitting partner, using a small pillow to support the lower
back. You can also try this in bed with the woman on top. With a
pillow behind him for support, he sits with his back against the
headboard, legs extended flat out and slightly parted with her
kneeling above. As with sex in a chair, the woman is the active
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